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Ogre blog
Looking for the true form
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31st-Dec-2033 11:59 pm - Introduction
This blog contains its majority of posts as friends only. Please comment to be added.
I may have added you to my friendslist if I liked what I read in your journal.

23rd-May-2008 10:46 pm - Onion on diet books and thinspiration
As a former or present food "different" person this is kind of ... funny I guess.

Diet Book Author Advocates New 'No Food Diet'
10th-Feb-2008 03:01 pm - Writer's Block: Coffee Or Tea?
What method do you use to prepare your coffee or tea?

The old fashioned moka espressotiera, or a French presso for cofffee - and the coffee has to have been roasted in Naples style.

For tea - either some Japanese loose green teas, or black tea.. I recently drink too many teas.
A public entry every now and then...

In a certain age, eating disorders have become to be something of nearly expected. Or at least more expected when one is a perfectionist, a teenager or a late teenager, in a certain type of family ... over controlling parents, unhappy childhood, over-intelligent female child and so on. It would be nearly weird in those conditions to not become eating disordered at least for a while - since there is nothing else to control in one's life than how much one's body really takes space...
Then it is ok. Sort of.

But when someone is way older, when they are married and everyone is expecting the "teenager" thinking to go away, the girl who became a wife to balloon up and become a baby machine, then it is more .. weird. "Too old" for that kind of thinking and on.

Or when the person trapped in the eating disordered world is a male, or when the age and race are so out of expected range ... my grandad had anorexia when he was 80 and over. He shrunk to be very tiny, never ate, or when he ate he ate really weird stuff. And drank vodka and smoked like a chimney. But that was ok, surely a man of that age could not be accused of girly thinking.

My grandad was an anorexic. My dad was 5'11" and always so proud how he was 110 lb when he was young, that obviously was always so helpful when they wanted me to fatten up so that it would look as if I had got rid of this girly thinking. When he later had a weight double to what he was as young, that was expected since a comfortable office job, no need to do much makes it nearly expected to balloon up ... then my mum ballooned up after marriage, nearly the way some Russian women do, not for being a baby machine but for throwing her own life away ... for not doing ever what she really wanted to, for blaming everyone and everything else for her doing nothing (it was my fault that I was born...), ... the way that the married baby machine womben in the suburbia fattened up. To protect themselves? Or as they binged in a socially acceptable manner while cooking for their babies, while the autumns and winters caused their serotonine levels get kite high with all that sugar. That was expected. Balloon when you are grown up, an adult, even married. I have always been disgusted by women's fat arms. I saw plenty of those among my mum's suburbia friends. And I knew I would never want to balloon up, live my life the way they did, to have any babies and so on.

Now I'm adult. I am socially expected to have got out of the girly thinking, to slowly but stable balloon up a few pounds a year and start to look all the normal weight (fat) Finnish celebrities or Uma Thurman, Milla Jovovich etc, to one day give up my own life and get knocked up and so on. Get a mortgage, 2 cars, a dog, have the obligatory 1,63 kids, a lawnmower, a summer cottage, christmas parties, buy Tommy Hilfiger clothing as if it was the Benetton of this century, celebrate one day the tenth anniversary of the wedding in a touristic resort like Mallorca or any Greek Island with my man, meeting there the people that live in my neighborhood here.

Fcuk that. I am expected to do this and that, so what. I have my relationship, I have a total control over my body, and not all I think or care in the life involve around my bellybutton (another expectation for the girly thinking). My career matters more. But for my body the feel of being trapped inside it is all that I know, and I don't see me get "cured" or whatever BS they call it. I am not expected to have the bodily sense and thought world of a teen, I'm too old for this girly thinking...
20th-Sep-2006 07:58 pm - Animal cruelty
jack skeleton
Seen in the friends page, bites_the_sun links to lizblackdog who posted this.

Animal shelters in Ireland... when looking at their cruelty cases, just what kind of sick people would do that? Seeing stuff like this makes me cry.
12th-May-2006 10:23 am - Quit that 'VICTIM' attitude, World
Quit that stupid victim attitude!

This is ridiculous: a Finnish woman was caught smuggling in 6,5 kg of hashish in her hand luggage in an Indian airport. Now the newspapers are whining about how she is such a poort viiiictim.

Just like this another pwwwooor innucent viiiictim. Who overdosed himself the drugs that made him die.

Explain me again why the people who want to bring over 13 lb of hashish in their hand luggage, or who die for heroine overdose, are victims? When you do drugs - or anything else in the life for that matter (study, don't study, work, don't work, steal, don't steal, drugs, smoke, surf, do any sports, have unprotected sex, decide to have kids etc etc etc) - I really appreciate when people take the responsibility of their own actions. The responsibility would be "a guy took a heroin overdose, and died", without the whiney whiney VIIIICTIM in cat sized headlines, and a "dumb Finnish woman was caught trying to import 13lb hashish from Mumbai" without again the whiney whiney pwwwor vicctim attitude. Hopefully they don't waste too much money bringing her to a prison in Europe - so she could maybe learn a bit more.
17th-Apr-2006 12:48 pm - "Victim!"
I hate when people abuse the word VICTIM. Like in this case the VICTIM, the INNOCENT VICTIM was killed .. by a heroine overdose? Innocent victim indeed.

The innocent victim and his girlfriend and another friend of theirs were found dead, and in the same apartment they found 5 doses of heroin, 60 grams of hashish and 4 grams of marijuana.

Victims?? If someone dies because of his own stupidity or his own abuse of anything, I just fail to see where the word VICTIM fits in.
29th-Oct-2005 10:23 pm - Saturday's links for the bored surfer
For the entertainment of your Saturday afternoon and evening:

- White Rich girl syndrome (joys of living in a multicultural neighborhood, and ban the Bible...)
- Nerd jokes (old but classics)
- Annoying internet celebrities (an illegal alien "keeping low profile" and getting married, and a rumormonger with _text_ _editing_ _problems_)
- Payneful sense of humor (I wonder why some people think they like humor, or if something traumatic happened to them to cause that they don't like it?)
- Entertaining spam reads (Africans living in concentration camps have nothing more to do than to spam email me)
- Antigia (yes, Antigia. Don't mistake it with Antigua - they are two different countries obviously...)
- Europeans... (History of international terrorism)
- Perfect CD to annoy your neighbors (can't beat the Finnish tangos!)
- and some more links if those were still not enough...

And yes, this is a rare public entry.

In fact, everything else is visible friends only.
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